Picture Credit: soc.ucsb.edu
Jealousy is way up there on the list of things that can ruin a relationship. Over the years, I've come to my own theories about what I think are the three types or levels of jealousy.
***Disclaimer: I am not a psychologist or relationship expert. I only have my opinions and whether you agree or not is up to you.
The first type of jealousy is the healthiest one. When you're in a loving relationship, there should be some degree of jealousy in which you're possessive (but not excessively) over your partner. I'm gonna use a hypothetical situation to explain my point better.
You and your boyfriend (or girlfriend) are sitting in a restaurant when the waitress (or waiter) stops by to take your order. The waitress is really good looking and you see your boyfriend and her exchanging (what you think are) inappropriate looks. He's checking her out and she's checking him out and you're watching the whole thing. Now a "healthy jealous" attitude would be to just put your arm around your man and flash the girl a fierce but friendly look that says "He's all mine, sorry!" And then move it along. That's a reasonable reaction to a situation where one might be jealous. It shows that you are confident that although your partner is noticing someone else and vice versa, there's no need to flip because YOU GOT THIS!!!
Take that same situation. You're sitting at the table, the waitress comes, blah blah. Now in the next level of jealousy, you would immediately get upset. All these negative thoughts would run through your head for a while and it'll just bring you down. This level of jealous stems from insecurity. But what makes this type of jealousy not as bad as the next one I'm gonna mention, is that you don't act on those thoughts…at least not in a crazy way. The most you would do with this type of jealousy is be in a bad mood and psych yourself out into being upset and passive aggressive while your partner is wondering what he/she did wrong. But the upside to this level of jealousy is that sometimes you can be secure enough to talk yourself out of this feeling. You can think of the fact that your boyfriend is there with YOU on that date and no one else. Yes, he might notice other women but he still choses to be with you.
Now for the final level of jealousy; the type that is fear inducing; the crazy jealousy. Same situation: You, your boyfriend, the waitress at the table, looks are exchanged, etc. The crazy jealous girlfriend would immediately go into bitch mode; flip out and accuse both the boyfriend and the waitress of messing around behind her back. She would fight the waitress and key up her boyfriend's car. This is the extreme level of jealousy. It comes from insecurity, irrationality, and bad relationships period. If you're a man or a woman and you feel the need to react to simple situations in a drastic way like this then perhaps you should check yourself out. I mean there are many factors that would cause a person to react that way. And sometimes it’s the other person in the relationship that can drive a person crazy like that… #ImJustSayin!
Hope you enjoyed this post! Feel free to give feedback, even if you disagree and Thanks for Reading!!!
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